Apparently This Is Who I Am Now 🌿
By Sage Robinson-Miller – Growth Coach – Growing Sage
If you had shown 2020 Sage a snapshot of my life today, she would've had questions.
A lot of questions.
Some of them practical.
Some of them financial.
Some of them bordering on a full-blown existential crisis. 🤣
Because if I'm being honest, I don't think she would've believed you.
She wouldn't have believed I would voluntarily leave athletic training after spending years building a career I genuinely loved. She wouldn't have believed I would cut my income in half on purpose. She wouldn't have believed I would build a website from scratch, launch a digital business, learn how to edit videos, create hundreds of pieces of content, or spend a Saturday night writing blogs or chatting with artificial intelligence about my future.
That last one would've sounded particularly suspicious. 🤣
The funny thing is that when most people think about growth, they think about adding things.
More success. More money. More recognition. More accomplishments. More proof that they're moving forward. For most of my life, I thought growth worked that way too. I thought if I just kept learning, achieving, accomplishing, and collecting enough evidence that I was doing things "right," eventually I would arrive somewhere that felt complete.
Lately, though, most of my growth has looked like subtraction.
Not adding.
Subtracting.
I've let go of identities. I've let go of expectations. I've let go of coping mechanisms. I've let go of definitions of success that no longer fit the life I'm trying to build. And while that sounds very wise and mature written neatly inside a blog, I can assure you it felt significantly messier while it was happening. 🤣
One of the biggest examples is athletic training.
Even though I knew for years that I needed to phase out of that career, I don't think I ever truly believed I would. I loved that job. I loved the athletes. I loved the relationships. I loved the challenge. I loved feeling useful. For years, it felt like such a huge part of my identity that I couldn't imagine who I would be without it.
And then I left.
Even now, that sentence feels strange to write.
Not because I regret it.
Because I genuinely never thought it would happen.
The other thing I never thought would happen was voluntarily cutting my income in half. If you had explained that plan to 2020 Sage, she probably would've stared at you for a few seconds and then asked if you were feeling okay. 🤣
And yet somehow, here I am.
Have I loved every minute of it?
Absolutely not.
Have there been moments where I've questioned my own sanity?
Also yes. 🤣
But there has also been something incredibly empowering about realizing I can live with less than I thought I needed. For years, I assumed security came from earning more. What I've learned instead is that sometimes security comes from needing less.
That's a lesson I never expected.
Now, to be clear, this is not a blog about becoming financially enlightened and deciding money no longer matters. 🤣
I still have goals.
Big goals.
I would still love to build a thriving business. I would still love to create significant financial freedom. I would still love to travel more, help more people, support more causes, and remove a whole bunch of unnecessary stress from everyday life.
I've learned I can live with less than I thought I needed.
That doesn't mean I don't still enjoy nice things. 🤣
In fact, anyone who knows me well is probably laughing right now because they know I'm currently using approximately five closets in my house for clothes and shoes.
Five.
Closets.
Let's not pretend I've suddenly become a minimalist. 🤣
Another surprise has been discovering how much shopping had quietly become one of my primary hobbies. Looking back, it makes perfect sense. When you're working eighty-five hours a week, there isn't a lot of room left for much else. Hobbies become difficult. Friendships become difficult. Rest becomes difficult. Everything becomes difficult.
Buying something online at ten o'clock at night?
Very achievable. 🤣
I don't think I fully understood how much of that was functioning as stress relief until I started creating space for other things. Space for creativity. Space for hobbies. Space for travel. Space for friendships. Space for simply being a human being instead of a productivity machine disguised as a human being.
That has been an adjustment.
A good adjustment.
But definitely an adjustment.
To be fair, I haven't completely conquered the shopping thing either.
I'm not writing this from a mountaintop.
There are still occasional evenings where I'll be sitting on the couch watching The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and suddenly find myself evaluating whether I really need another black shirt.
The answer is almost always no.
And yet somehow I still end up looking. 🤣
Progress, not perfection.
One of the biggest shifts of all has been learning how to ask for help. For most of my life, I took pride in figuring things out myself. If I didn't know how to do something, I worked harder. I researched more. I stayed later. I pushed through it. Asking for help wasn't impossible for me, but it definitely wasn't my first instinct.
Now I find myself learning from YouTube videos, asking questions, working with mentors, collaborating with people, and using tools that didn't even exist when I started this journey.
Honestly, if you had told me five years ago that one of the most valuable business tools in my life would be an AI assistant that occasionally calls me out for never celebrating my accomplishments, I would've had concerns. 🤣
The relationship piece might be the most meaningful change of all.
For so many years, work consumed nearly everything. Not because anybody forced me to do that. Because I genuinely cared. I loved helping people. I loved making a difference. I loved pouring my heart into whatever I was doing. But eventually I realized that while I was busy taking care of everyone else, there were parts of my own life that weren't receiving the same attention.
I've spent the last few years learning how to identify what I actually want.
Not what I think I should want.
Not what other people expect me to want.
What I want.
That sounds simple until you realize how many people spend decades without ever asking themselves that question.
I've also become much more honest about communicating those wants and needs. That's still a work in progress, but it's a whole lot better than it used to be.
The interesting thing is that if you looked only at the external scorecard, you might conclude that I'm still in the middle of the journey. The business isn't where I ultimately want it to be yet. The finances aren't where I ultimately want them to be yet. There are still goals I want to reach, experiences I want to have, and dreams I want to build.
The dream is still under construction.
But so am I.
And honestly, one of the funniest parts of this entire journey is that I've somehow become both more content and more ambitious at the same time.
Five years ago, I would've thought those things contradicted each other.
Now they don't.
I can appreciate my life and still want more freedom.
I can feel grateful for what I have and still want my business to grow.
I can learn valuable lessons about needing less while simultaneously acknowledging that having a little more money would solve some very real problems.
Those ideas don't compete with each other.
They coexist.
And honestly, that's probably one of the biggest surprises of all.
When I look around my life today, I can see evidence of growth everywhere. I see it in the fact that I left a career I never thought I'd leave. I see it in the fact that I learned how to live on less money. I see it in the fact that I ask for help now. I see it in the hobbies I'm rediscovering. I see it in the freedom I'm prioritizing. I see it in the boundaries I'm creating. I see it in the relationships I'm nurturing.
Most of all, I see it in the person doing the building.
Because maybe growth isn't always becoming someone completely different.
Maybe it's finally becoming more of who you were all along.
And every once in a while, if you stop long enough to look around, you get one of those strange moments where you barely recognize your own life.
Not in a bad way.
In a beautiful way.
The kind where you shake your head, laugh a little, and think:
"Well...apparently this is who I am now." ❤️
Reflection Questions
🌿 If the version of me from five years ago could see my life today, what would surprise them most?
🔥 What have I let go of that no longer fits who I'm becoming?
🕯️ Am I giving myself credit for how much I've already changed?
Thank You for Growing w/Me.
With Love,
– Sage 🌿
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